It's another early morning for me. I woke up sneezing - again - so came out to the living room to avoid waking Ryan. La Bean is in full gear this morning too. 23 weeks today and 17 to go! Thursday night was the first time I actually saw my belly move from her in utero acrobatics. I don't think Riley moved my belly like that until later, but I could be wrong. According to the "where you should be" synapses on a couple of websites, La Bean is ahead of schedule as far as her length. But I'm not really sure how accurate those measurements are. I mean, at one point they were telling me Riley could weigh anywhere from 8 and half to 9 and a half pounds when he was born. He tipped the scales at 8 pounds 1 ounce - so we'll just have to see about La Bean.
I hope she is as healthy as Riley was when he was born. He practically came out of the womb holding his head up. I'm sure La Bean will be strong too, but I know when we found out about Riley, I was in top physical condition. I hit the gym usually twice a day and usually five to six times a week. My workouts before La Bean consisted of intermittent jaunts on the treadmill, chasing Riley around and using him as resistance instead of free weights. I miss being as physically active as I was, but with two under two, I know I'll be busy enough very soon!
I'm amazed by the amount of free time I used to have pre-babies and the disposable income as well! I remember there were some days where it seemed like I couldn't pass the time quickly enough. The price of gas never used to bother me. If a pair of jeans fit and looked good, they were a bargain at any price! Not so much anymore. But I don't miss any of that. I wouldn't change anything for the world. Those leisurely times for me were paired with a lot of turmoil that I was glad to leave behind. I've come a long way from those mercurial and turbulent years and am ecstatic to be where I am.
I lost my temper yesterday with a few things outside of my control and temporarily forgot what was important. I was glad Riley was sleeping so he wouldn't have to bear witness to my loss of composure. But sanity soon returned. It's really not like me to lose my cool, but everyone has weak moments, and soon I was lost in the joy of playing with some blocks with Riley.
I would build them up and stack them high atop each other, and he would come right behind me and tear them down. This simple game kept his - and my - attention for a couple hours. Then he had an early dinner, Ryan came home, and we dressed him up to go the Zoo's Halloween party. He had a cute pirate outfit that my Great Aunt Debbie gave to me at my baby shower, but we decided that his tiger outfit would be warmer. The weather is supposed to be a little more temperate next week, so that's what he'll wear when Memaw and I take him back.
I wish I would have put him down for a quick nap before we went. He only had one nap yesterday because he took such a late one and I think it shows in his pictures on his blog. He was very serious, which was very unlike him. It did crack me and Ryan up though to see him with this very sober expression, yet dancing in his stroller to all the music they had on the trick or treat route. Riley was a mini-celebrity we soon discovered. As we walked through the zoo, everyone we passed said something about the baby tiger. Even the "cool and aloof" teenage guys who were passing out candy smiled. Of course all the princesses loved him too. I told Ryan that if Riley wanted - or was allowed - a girlfriend, he wouldn't have any trouble at all.
Halfway through the route, Ryan took Riley out and carried him - a smiling and proud papa the whole way. One of the characters, the Mad Hatter, made him very mad though and for a minute or two, Riley was inconsolable. We were waiting to get his picture with Alice from Wonderland when the Mad Hatter appeared and held his arms out. Riley seemed fine at first, but then quickly changed his mind and let us know the Mad Hatter was not on his list of "People I Like Being Held By." So Ryan rescued him and we quickly moved on. When we go back, we'll probably skip that booth all together!
But as I looked at Riley's pictures last night and La Bean's ultrasound pictures (for the 18th dozen time) this early morning, it struck me just how fortunate I am and that sometimes I take for granted. Even though those moments are fleeting, I know that they occur. I'm acutely aware of the sacrifices Ryan makes for us. It wasn't easy for us to decide to totally forgo my income, but we both agree that it's the life we want to have. Nothing is more important than each other and our family. I hate those moments when I forget that, but they don't last long and one look at my husband's smile and my son's sweet face wipe them away completely.
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